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Perspective: Finding What Matters
Perspective is everything. In residency, we privileged to take care of sick patients. And our patients teach us important lessons. I will never forget my rotations in the ICU and on the hospital floor as a trainee. From my journey as a medical student, to intern, and resident, I view my time as a dealing with sick patients as one of the most valuable and formative experience in shaping my world view.
Every morning, I would round on my list of patients, asking them about their previous night. “Did you pass gas? Did you have a bowel movement? What was your pain on a scale of 1-10?” In between the days and weeks that I followed and took care of these patients, some would open up and other wouldn’t. And when facing death, I have heard many patients share what they felt was important to address in their final days/ weeks/ months of life. Many of these patients are all telling us the same thing, but are you listening? I hope to share the 3 lessons I learned from talking to the dying.
1. Prioritize Your Health
Listening to the whispers of illness, we learn the importance of prioritizing physical and mental wellness. Regrets often center on neglecting health, underscoring the need for self-care. As healthcare professionals, we are in a unique position to advocate for health, not just for our patients, but for ourselves as well. The first lesson from the dying: Prioritize your health, because without it, everything else loses its significance.
2. Cherish Every Moment
In their final hours, no patient has ever expressed to me a wish to have spent more time at work. Instead, they yearned for moments of joy and connection, often with family and friends. This is a powerful reminder to all of us to enjoy life’s precious moments and not let work consume us. The dying often express a wish to have savored the small moments, to have paused and truly lived in the present.
3. Focus on Family and Flexibility
I can’t tell you how many times someone told me they wished they spent more time with the family and loved ones. Back in medical school, I wasn’t a father yet. But I still remember how deep those words were for me. I knew that the day my daughter was born, it would make sense. Fast forward a few years, and I finally understood those lessons. The day that my daughter was born, I knew what was important. And only chasing prestige and career advancement wasn’t it for me. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with career advancement, but like in life, everything requires balance. For me, work-life-balance is one of the most important things I seek. It is something I still am actively seeking.
How These Lessons Impacted My Career Path
As a medical student, my interactions with patients taught me the importance of work-life balance. Consequently, I gravitated towards ophthalmology. In ophthalmology, we are lucky. We generally have good work-life balance and yet deal with something serious and important as vision and eye health. However, within traditional corporate structures, I had always feared missing out on precious family moments like ballet recitals or soccer practices.
I remember as my old job being forced to take Saturday clinics. For me, my time with my family was much more valuable than a half-day of clinic and the associated collections it would bring. I had chosen ophthalmology to find work life balance, to cherish every moment, to focus on my family, and my health. It wasn’t until I ventured into solo practice that I could truly embody these principles. With control over my schedule and clinic, I now have the freedom to prioritize my family, and ultimately, this is the real reason why everyone should consider solo. And if you don’t, thats okay. I hope you you are able to learn the lessons from dying and have perspective and focus on what matters to you.
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